Here I am again! Another blog! This time my blog posts will focus on my journey as a writer, and now, published author. I always knew I loved writing, but what I didn't know is how much I would love sharing my writing. In fact, I can't believe I love sharing my work, because it used to be a fear of mine. I remember doing peer editing in middle school and I would worry about who would end up with my work. Would they judge me? Would they make fun of me? Nothing felt more vulnerable than the nakedness of my thoughts in the hands of another person who could then judge it, and worse, judge me.
In college, one of my favorite professors, Dr. Clemens, helped me to conduct an independet study on women in the media. I kept a blog discussing the content she gave us to read and watch. Sharing that first blog post made me nervous. Sharing that same blog post to Facebook made me even more nervous. But I realized that in order to grow, I needed to learn to lean into discomfort, because when you do things that make you uncomfortable, that is when you experience the most growth within yourself. Yes, there will be times when someone will disagree with what you write or believe in. Yes, there will be people who judge you or hate what you create. Those same people are the ones who will make you better. And while those people are sitting there using their time to judge your work, you are creating more. I think this speaks for itself.
I love the writing part of this process. I'm teaching myself to love everything else that comes along with that. The joy on the children's faces when I share my story with them is priceless. It makes everything worth it. It makes working 10-12 hour days worth it. It makes investing money into my books worth it. It makes all the parts about this process that I don't love, worth it. It humbles me and reminds me of why I chose to do this in the first place.
I'm only human, just like everyone else, and I'm trying to be the best version of myself that I can be. That is one of the reasons why I want to share my journey with others. Today with social media and the internet, things tend to look too good to be true. And like my dad always told me, if something seems too good to be be true, it probably is. All of the airbrushing, perfect work ethics, and material possessions showcased online, tend to make others feel unsuccessful and unworthy. This, again, is why I think it is important to share my journey. It has been bumpy, frustrating, and exhausting at times. I don't love it any less because of this, but it is important for me to be transparent in a world that wants to appear effortlessly, effortless. There was years worth of effort involved with my process and it still isn't perfect (it never will be) and that is okay.
The things that you think are important, are. You should embrace them and push yourself to do those things, everyday. Whether its gardening, painting, fitness, creating music, etc.--you should make the time to do it. Time stops for no one, but it's never to late to be brand new. As Pam from The Office said, "There is a lot of beauty in ordinary things, isn't that the point?".
I hope you enjoy following my imperfect journey!
- j
